Hey, That's My Ride! Free Public Transportation in Istanbul for Women Only!!!! Yay!!!!

Stalker Alert Level: Yellow if you don't get in, Dark Orange if you do (PS Don't)

Hilarity Level: Depends on whether or not you can decode this cryptic post....Funny.

I haven't been stalked in a couple of days. I've been walled up in the school where I teach. So, tell of older stories?

Who's looking for a ride to work? Fear not, fair maidens! A man is on his way to get you, in case you forgot to call him. Just start walking. Then, as if tuned into your call for assistance on some psychic and maybe even primal wavelength, a man will stop, pull his car to the side of the road, and motion for you to get it. It's okay if you don't know him. It's okay, it's okay. He'll take you. It's no problem.

Now, you were probably thinking you'd have to walk all that way on your own! Ah, shucks, never worry about such an impossible outcome. Your journey out into the streets is, by its very nature, a plea for a man to rescue you, especially if he drives a BMW or some other big shot car--and believe me, trust me as your sister, he will hear this plea swell up in the center of his being and rise up like a mist of awareness, a truth and a duty to save you.

He'll come, like a noble steed rearing his head from the darkness in some historical adventure movie, to usher you off into the sunset that awaits on your challenge to get wherever you were going (like work or something, for example).

What's that you say? Oh, you were gonna take the bus? You were planning to walk? You don't know him? He looks creepy? You're being picked up by someone? You are taking the bus? You don't feel comfortable getting into a stranger's car? Hey, hey. Chill out, you high-strung panic prone maniac! HE came through the battles and fought off the demons to reach you and drive you wherever you are going. HE has sacrificed his daily plan for your benefit. HE did a u-turn in a heavy traffic area and drove over the center divider to be at your side. HE is here at last.

He does a "pat pat" on the passenger seat as he pulls up alongside the sidewalk and leans over to peer up in a super-bravado dramatic stare. This dear female creatures of the universe, is your chance. He's here, at last, on the side of the road, ready to pick you up, whoever you are, and take you wherever you were going, and he'll do it randomly right this very moment, cause he had nowhere to go that is worth more than you and your sweet cheeks. And I don't mean the ones on your face.

P.S. If you turn him down, another one will show up momentarily, so just keep this in mind. This happens more often than some may like to believe.